Cheating men are normal
“I think that cheating men are normal,” says Hill. “Monogamous men are heroes. Monogamy does have a place in relationships, but not on the long-term. Men are hard-wired to betray women on the long-term.” (Holly Hill, CNN Article- http://bit.ly/9h1Yqd)
It is enormously sad to me that there is such a culture of infidelity in our world, now the argument has become that men ought to be encouraged to go outside of marriage for sexual fulfillment? “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think” (Romans 12:2, NLT). While not everyone holds the Christian world view of fidelity and monogamy, I do. There are many others in this nation and around the world that claim to be Christians, yet their world view does not reflect the Word of God. The bible explains that the marriage bed is to be held in high honor and that sex is a powerful force for blessing or ruin.
This world is full of pervasive and suggestive lies and it is also full of truth. Finding truth is a vetting process using not only your heart, but also logic a reason. Follow the logic to its conclusive end, will a permissive sexual relationship with other women besides my wife lead to greater or lesser fulfillment? According to this mistress the answer is yes. But I wonder what the wives of the men she slept with would have thought? I wonder what happened to the families of those men? Well if their wives had just been more understanding… Truth is not some mystic and obtuse concept to be pondered while staring at your navel and smoking eastern herbs. Truth is a hard reality, found while debating and reasoning, sometimes with books and knowledge, other times with other people and differing opinions, but never in a vacuum.
“Wisdom will save you from the immoral woman, from the flattery of the adulterous woman.She has abandoned her husband and ignores the covenant she made before God. Entering her house leads to death; it is the road to hell.The man who visits her is doomed. He will never reach the paths of life.The man who visits her is doomed. He will never reach the paths of life” (Proverbs 2:16-20).
Yet a book written about the “Monogamous Hero” will probably never be produced and distributed. It will certainly not make it to the NYT best seller list. So while it is wisdom to avoid the adulterous woman (or man for that matter, ladies), the world still embraces the illogical conclusion that promiscuity is acceptable. What about self control?
Men, what in the hell are we doing to our wives? To the women in our culture? To our daughters and sister? I suppose I am not surprised, men and women who didn’t wait to have sex before marriage are not likely to be patient with sex after marriage are they? All I can say is that those men who sleep around are more likely to have a broken marriage and family and bring disease and lying into the family. I say that because of observation.
Sex is hard. There is no doubt in my mind that it is one of the more complicated facets of relationship before and after marriage. Yet as one person put it, “sex is hard so that we’ll work on it”. A woman is not like a man, and rightfully so! She is not as simple and pursuing a sexual relationship that is meaningful and passionate and fulfilling requires a lot of time, trust and patience. When a man doesn’t have the desire to work on that part of the relationship he goes for the “easy kill” with some slut who is willing to give it up for a dollar amount, a whore.
So, men, are you going to love your wife like Christ loves his church? Think about that for a moment! Are you willing to die to yourself at all costs for the sake of your beautiful wife? To offer her without blemish, without shame, pure and perfect back to God. This is the high calling of marriage. But we have so many boys, so many castrated men, it is hard to find a man who wants to get married let alone be a good husband to his wife! And why should they ladies? When a man can get his sexual appetite satisfied with a wink a bottle of wine, why should a man remain faithful to his wife when she has a headache? Well, the idea is that you marry a man of character and integrity, a man who is self controlled before and after marriage.
This culture is making me sicker and sicker everyday and I am not alone. I am not a prude (ask my wife!), but I am prudent. I am not boring, but I hold sex in VERY high regard and perhaps more importantly, I hold my wife in very high regard. I want her to feel NO shame. I want her to feel NO insecurity. When we are together she ought to feel NO fear. An unfaithful man, be it by consent of a fearful wife or through lies and deceit, creates a shameful, scared, and insecure woman. Men, can we please break that cycle? For the sake of our families? For the sake of our Children? What about to honor God? What about to actually know the presence of God in our life?
I am so sad that we keep going round and round on this crazy wheel of life, when will the naive open their eyes to see the damage on the family? The separation between God and man? Don’t they know that the wrath of God is being revealed against all ungodliness? Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. I for one will live for the glory of God honoring my wife and my Lord. I want to be a hero, someone God will say- “well done! You are a man of whom the world is not worthy”.
I love my wife with all of my heart and I will gladly give her all of me for the rest of her life.